WHY I GOLF SO MUCH | Perich Advertising + Design

WHY I GOLF SO MUCH

By Ernie Perich

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Because watching TV is too boring, running is too sweaty and swimming is too smelly. Because “WHY I GOLF SO LITTLE” would be a sad, pathetic, boring rant. Because with some things, moderation is not good. Golf being one of them. Because I don’t need to answer to anyone on a golf course. Because I can smoke a damn fine cigar there, something I can’t do in my own bathroom. Because there are no committees on the golf course. Or stock brokers. Because nobody on the golf course gives a crap what I do for a living. Because bull—-ing, trash-talking and being obnoxious are things I do quite well. And excelling in those things can prove valuable in an otherwise friendly match. Because golf presents a challenge I’ll never win and I know it but I don’t care. Because nobody on the golf course asks me for another few days off. Because sky blue, cloud white and weedless grass green are beautiful colors. Because golf courses know full well that Snickers and Reese’s are better cold. Because carrying your own bag for four hours negates the damaging side effects of such frozen entrees. Because whether to have a dog or a brat or Italian sausage is a big decision. Because golf courses are some of the prettiest places on earth. Because my ideas don’t get rejected (very often) on the golf course. Because there are some great golf clothes and shoes. Because golf’s a great thing to do with my sons. And my wife (who only walks the course). Because it’s the only place I can get away with wearing a straw hat. Because I don’t lead any meetings on a golf course. Because everybody wants an ice cold beer after the round. And I like to help everyone get what they want. Because you learn so much about people on the golf course. Because winning $2 from an opponent provides as much satisfaction as $200. Because a ball and a hole consumes me for 4 hours. Because cell phones get dirty looks on the golf course. Because nobody gives me a job starter on the 1st tee, or a status report on the 10th. Because I’ve never had a conference call on a golf course. Because everybody needs something to take their mind off work. And nothing does it better for me.